As I Am

We live in a world of image. Day after day we go on taking selfies, dressing a specific way to achieve a certain look, buying what's "in" and putting so much effort just into creating someone else's perception of us. For ladies especially, we may see another lady on Tumblr or Pinterest and think, "Gosh I wish I was her,". Confession time: we've all done it and will most likely do it again. But, have you ever wondered what these girls heart's contain? Have you ever considered what they like, or do not like, what they think about and do not think about? In my case, I can honestly say, no. No, I have never taken the time to consider these things. So, should I? Should we? 

Recently, controversy has erupted concerning H&M and a jumpsuit. I won't get into the tiny details, but basically, H&M created a jumpsuit that many complained about, saying that it resembled the uniforms worn by Kurdish women fighting ISIS (Islamic State in Iraq and Syria). Some said that the jumpsuit was "disrespectful" and that H&M "ought to be ashamed of themselves". Personally, I do not have much of an opinion on this. It's a neat jumpsuit and I will leave it at that. After, H&M apologized claiming that they never intended to offend anyone by creating the clothing. The color is trending and so are jumpsuits. But, how many people know that H&M in the past has allowed slavery to occur in their corporation around the world? Many do not and will not know that many of the jumpsuits, jackets, blouses and wedges made by our beloved H&M were once created by men, women and children suffering under poor work wages, sexual abuse, human trafficking and other unimaginable conditions.

On a different end of the spectrum, social media was recently in an uproar about the tan suit that the President wore in a press conference. Comments such as, "If everyone is in an uproar about Obama wearing a tan suit, just wait until he wears white after Labor Day," were made ridiculing the President about his wardrobe. To this day, I do not know what the speech was about and I guarantee that the other 1,000,000 young people who joined in on this re-enactment of Fashion Police do either. 

Now, to my point. 

In 1 Samuel 16, God told Samuel to go to Bethlehem to anoint one of Jesse's sons to be king. Samuel went and observed all of these men while he awaited for God to show him the one that he was supposed to anoint. Here's where Samuel shows that he was exactly like us. As soon as he arrived, he sees Eliab, Jesse's eldest son. Eliab must have been tall and handsome with leader-like qualities, because as soon as Samuel laid his eyes on him he said, "Surely the Lord's anointed stands here before the Lord," (1 Samuel 16:6). Wait, what? Samuel...a great man of the Bible judged someone based on their looks? Yes! He absolutely did! What a joy to know that God has given us scripture that is so relevant in our culture! 

Then, God stepped in and turned Samuel's heart and focus back onto Him by saying, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart," (1 Samuel 16:7). 

Samuel observed 7 other sons until finally Jesse called in his youngest son, David, who attended to sheep. The Lord then told Samuel, "Rise and anoint him; this is the one". Wow. What powerful words those are? David, a young boy who tended to sheep was chosen by the Creator of the universe, not because of his height, muscles or clothes, but because of his heart. David was "a man after God's own heart". Not after God's own clothes, hair or height- His heart. 

We are living in an image driven world. Surface level is becoming the new deep. Controversy over jumpsuits and tan suits are given more attention than human suffering or words that are spoken to better our society.

God has given us a way to escape all of this. By following Him, we can choose to put off the ways of the world and to become men and women after God's own heart. As we grow in him, we become less and he becomes greater in us. The joy that this brings to my heart is overwhelming! I am not confined to look a certain way, talk a certain way or dress in any way that conforms to what someone else thinks I should be. When The Lord looks on my heart, I want to be confident in saying that he sees Jesus. 

The world may SEE me how it wants, but Jesus KNOWS me as I am. 

Woodstock 2014

As some of you may or may not have known, this past week, my youth group and I headed out to Dirty Myrtle for the second year in a row, to spread the good news of Jesus to all who would listen. We call this trip Woodstock (for no reason involving psychedelic drugs, sex or rock and roll, just in case you were wondering). I have decided to share what happened in my heart this week because I just cannot contain the joy that The Lord has revealed to me.

The week began with sweat. Lots and lots of sweat. The South Carolina heat hath no mercy on campers in tents at Ocean Lakes Campground. Then, came the rain. Lots, and lots, and lots, AND LOTS of rain. Tents were flooded, clothes were soaked, pizza was ruined and patience was definitely tested.

But, despite the tests, I could not have been more pleased with the way that our team held together it's strong and firm foundations as a group that overflowed with willingness to serve, love and encourage one another as well as the community around us. So, as we all stood under a broken canopy, holding up bent poles and duct taped edges, the Holy Spirit was definitely present and prominent in that moment.

This week, my heart was challenged. Going into the adventure that is Woodstock again, I was bursting with the excitement to pour out and see what wondrous works God was planning to perform in the people's lives I met this week. Experiencing Woodstock was a completely different story.

No, I do not have any stories of stirring salvations, nor do I have any radical stories of persecution to share with you. What I have though, changed my life and the way I intend to live it.

The convictions that The Lord sent my way were so strong and powerful. First, He convicted me of modesty. As I walked throughout the dusty campsite, then the freezing cold Coastal Grand mall, I noticed the lack of modesty in young women that looked to be my age and possibly even younger. I felt a certain emptiness seeing the girls seeming to have no shame or pride in keeping their bodies hidden from anyone and everyone who wanted to look. The lack of self respect and of Jesus had my heart in shambles for these young women. In these places, I heard Him speaking to me; softly whispering to me and gently urging me to examine my choice in clothing as a young woman who is following Jesus Christ. Does what I wear send off the correct message to the outside world that my body is a temple of the Living God? Secondly came the conviction of the media that I feed myself with. Listening to conversations within the group that I was with, I realized that feeding myself with Lana Del Rey's dramatic concept of relationships, Iggy Azalea's glorification of cash and sex, and many other artists that I have been so blindly supporting was in no way glorifying the God of the universe who created me to stand out from the world. Because of Jesus, I am set free from the chains of self idolization, sexual glorification and empty, loveless relationships. Because of Jesus I am urged to not camouflage myself in with the brokenness of this world.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." This week, Jesus kept this verse on my heart and mind daily. On a week that was expected to be so full of pouring out and giving, the Holy Spirit radically changed areas of my heart with loving and pleading convictions.

Unplugged

As Spring and Summer are fast approaching, the idea of adventure is bursting through the barriers of everyone's minds, making the wait practically unbearable. Where will you be this Spring Break? Munching on macaroons in Charleston? Perhaps sun soaking in Miami? Maybe you'll be relaxing with Chinese takeout and the boyfriend like me. Then comes Summer. What then? The beach? Mountains? Europe, even? Although, if you're not one for planning, like myself, you may just pick a place and go on a sunny Summer day and create your own adventure. Isn't that what we all love about adventures? The spontaneity of jumping in a car or airplane, traveling for hours on end until you finally reach the destination that you had no intention of reaching until you woke up that very morning- it's THRILLING! We all can agree that a good adventure is well worth the time, money and energy spent.

For some reason though, adventure is turning from an action, into more of a fantasy or dream. You've seen the quotes, reblogged the pictures, pinned the places, retweeted the tweets that spark that ever so famous word "wanderlust" in our hearts and imagination. But, what is the last adventure you went on? When is the last time you loaded up a car full of Vanilla Cokes, friends, sunblock, iPods and sleeping bags and hit the road, driving ceaselessly to a destination of unknown? Better yet, when is the last time you actually went on an adventure without hash tagging, checking in, tweeting, or Instagramming it? Have we really become so plugged into a world of followers, likes, retweets and knock off vintage photos that we can't take a day to do the daring? Recently on Pinterest, I saw a quote stating, "We can’t jump off bridges anymore because our iPhones will get ruined. We can’t take skinny dips in the ocean, because there’s no service on the beach and adventures aren’t real unless they’re on Instagram. Technology has doomed the spontaneity of adventure and we’re helping destroy it every time we Google, check-in, and hashtag.”

Now, ladies, I know that you have heard this speech 1,000,001 times. But trust me, I have a better point.

We all, whether we know it or not, have been called to go on the greatest adventure ever known to mankind. Seriously. This adventure that WE have been asked to take part in would make Finn and Jake jealous (sorry for the Adventure Time reference all my anti-cartoon network folks). This great, spectacular and jaw dropping adventure has been offered out to us freely and get this: we don't even have to pay for gas.

Jesus came into the world to recruit us for God's great adventure: to seek and save the lost. As Luke 19:10 says, "For the Son Of Man came to seek and save the lost." But wait, there's more! God actually wants to join you on this adventure! In Hebrews 13:5b, the Lord says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Just think of the great commission that He tells us about in Matthew 28! ^"Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.' ” To the ends of the earth? THAT right there sounds much more enticing than Charleston or Miami.

Recently, I found myself feeling empty. As I sat for weeks with these forsaken feelings in my heart, I wondered to myself what I was doing wrong. What in my heart was keeping me from my Jesus? Then, the Lord spoke to me clear as day and said, "Unplug,". What? What does that mean? All of a sudden, I realized that my heart, head and time were becoming consumed by Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook- you name it, I was probably on it. So, I UNPLUGGED! Without hesitation, I began to race through the settings of my phone and laptop, one by one disconnecting the things that have kept me so connected to the world and so disconnected from my Father. After everything was disconnected, uninstalled and unplugged, I sat back and felt the freedom of Jesus just completely wash over me.

Now, in no way am I saying, "Hey ladies! Uninstall all social media because Jesus wants us to unplug,". Even I, after some housecleaning in my heart, reinstalled Pinterest! NO! I am saying that in my situation, the adventure being portrayed by a washed out picture of high waist shorts, aviators, baggy t-shirts, converse and a Volkswagen bus that we all know nobody actually possesses, was blocking out the actual, real life adventure that The God of the universe is calling me on. No, God probably will not call me to wear a White Stripes t-shirt and roll out to Coachella over the summer or vacation in the keys, but what he has in store for me, and for you, is more precious and exhilarating than any adventure that the internet (or teenage girls on Tumblr with way too much time on their hands) could ever create.

It's a great feeling at the end of the day to say to myself, wow, I serve an impressively creative and adventurous God.

To The Full.

When we are born, we are carefree. Fun is our middle name, wonder fills our hearts and the world is an enormous playground in our innocent, adolescent eyes. We seem to think that we are invincible and that danger will never phase us. Point being, we seem to live life to the fullest at our youngest, most vulnerable stage in life. It is in the stage, that we are taught two valuable lessons. The first being not to stick bugs and crawly creatures of all shapes and sizes into our diapers. This was a lesson I definitely heard, but failed at when test time came crawling by my feet. The second lesson was that we could be ANYTHING that we set our hearts on being. Naturally, we all believed this, because of the youthful carelessness and freedom we possessed. "You can be president if you really want!", "Maybe you'll be an astronaut!". We've all heard these infamous lines at least once or twice in the span of our lives, so far, whether it be from a teacher, parent, friend, family member, or in my case, strangers waiting to get their cars fixed in the auto mechanic shop that I go to with my father to have his oil changed. No matter where you've heard it, it has been said. But was it all truth?

Fast forward a few years. We are now entering the preteen years. The awkward, socially terrifying jungle full of gossip, rumors, Jr. High, cliques, bad hair, beginners make up, padded sports bras and endless anxiety (*RESULTS OF PRETEEN YEARS MAY VARY*). Now, two more lessons come into play. Or should I say, one more lesson and one old, familiar lesson that has been slightly edited. We now have to say no to peer pressure and instead of being able to be anything we want, we must begin to look at what job we want to have once we grow into mature adults. "You can be president" now becomes, "You can work in state government!", or "You can become an engineer and work on computers for NASA". But, why? Why has my horizon suddenly become more dim and less adventurous?

Finally, we are young adults. We have grown into the stage between fully grown and finishing up adolescence. Once again, that age old lesson has been edited, but this time, it's barely even recognizable. Now, the lesson says that we can be anything we want to be, as long as it provides success in life, financial security, useful services to our fellow citizens, and "happiness".

Young people, I am OUTRAGED. To me, this "lesson" has become a "sentencing" to a cookie-cutter life; a life that I, myself never asked for, nor do I want.

John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full". What exactly is life to the full? Is it unlimited success in life? Financial security? Useful services to our fellow citizens? I say no. I refuse to live out my life as if I need the security of money, comfortable living arrangements, and so many other things that take away the adventure and wonder of life that we all believed in at some point in our lives. 

Life to the full, to me, is the life that Christ has planned for me. Never once has The Lord told me, "My daughter, I gave you life, now go live it how the world wants you to". My heart breaks at the thought of our culture and society draining the life out of "life to the full". You don't want to work a nine to five job behind a desk. So what? You want to be an astronaut, whizzing into outer space as we speak. SO WHAT? Maybe you just want to skip college and go straight for Europe to backpack around the world. Do it! Jesus is dreaming right along with us. He instills dreams and desires in our hearts for a reason. He wants to live out these dreams with us so that we can live them out to the full. Now, what if you do want to find a job, settle down and live a nice life right where you are? GO AHEAD! So long as you are living right where you are to the full. Living every day the way that He intended for you.

So, whether I end up an accountant at a huge business firm, or climbing mountains with a backpack of my all of my belongings over one shoulder, I will live my life to the full. I will not be chained down by parents, friends, family members or any voice in society telling me to live a certain way in order to be "happy" and secure. The wonder of life will not leave my heart now that freedom has become my middle name. But, for now, I will take on today living life to the full, as well.

 Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

What Is Trust?

For a young girl who is just beginning to leap into an enormous shark tank that we have all come to call "the future", there are countless expectations that I am supposed to meet, essential responsibilities that I have to take on, intimidating obstacles I am destined overcome and let's not forget about the endless list of people who must be pleased with all of these critical elements of "the future". As all of these things seem to loom over me, I stand with a crippling fear that I may never amount to what is expected of me. The phrase "the future", has lost its luster, in my eyes. But, why?

My eyes are weak. I see things through a dusty, blurred lens (and let's not forget the awful astigmatism that I have been ever so lucky to receive). So, because of all of these hindering features of my eyes, they are useless. But, there is hope. A tremendous hope that no one can surpass. This hope not only brings clear eyes, but it brings peace, understanding, love and trust.

As I find myself before this hope who is named Jesus, I am constantly reminded of the condition of my eyes that will never begin to compare to the sight of my God. The way He views me, the way he views the lost and weary, the way He views anything and everything that comes into his view- even "the future", is a treasure that I am so blessed to be a part of and all that I have to do is ask Him for His eyes in place of mine. So what do I see when I peer through the unsurpassable vision of my Jesus? I see light. I see a world aching for His love.  Also, I see all the things in life that I may miss on a regular, mundane day.

What does this have to do with "the future", you may ask? Good question.

I have heard this specific piece of scripture countless times throughout my life- Jeremiah 29:11. The well known and widely quoted verse says, "'For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Yes, of course, this verse has always had "meaning". But, it was not until recently, that "meaning" became truth and a definite promise from the One who gave me new life and clear eyes. Suddenly, this "shark tank" that I mentioned earlier, looks more like a small pond of minnows.

Jesus, on many occasions, tells us, "do not fear, for I am with you". It becomes so easy to just accept this as a statement of comfort, but not as a rock solid promise as it is intended to be. Learning from The God Of the UNIVERSE is far from easy at times. Trust me, it has taken me more time than was truly needed to fully grasp the simple concept of swallowing my pride and filling myself with Christ and seeing through His magnificent, beautiful eyes that not only reveal and shatter barriers that myself alone, will never even be able to scratch the surface of. But once I swallowed it whole, "the future" illuminated right in front of my eyes. All of the expectations, responsibilities, obstacles and people melted away and the true glory of what my God has in store for my future shone brighter than the sun.

There is a song that I could never get enough of entitled My Delight Is In You. The words seem to come to my mind more and more often here recently as my future is slowly but surely approaching. It says, "Here I am, open arms. Draw me close, to Your heart. You're my life. You're my Refuge. My delight, my delight is in You". I truly am now standing with open arms instead of feeling this looming fear over me of something that I possess no reason to fear. I possess no right to fear it. I am delighting in my God given future! I am trusting, hoping, seeking and loving my everlasting King who has never failed and never will fail me.

So, what is trust? What purpose does it have in our lives? What purpose does it hold in God's plan for our lives? Maybe the word "trust" should be rephrased and given new meaning for us all. Trust is admitting that we are limited, lacking creatures that have the ability to see, but only through the eyes of the One who created us and by Him alone and taking action by asking for that wonderful vision. Day by day my fear is decreasing. The looming shadow is fading away and the illuminating light of my Jesus standing in my future, with His hand stretched out towards me, waiting to walk side-by-side through it, is shining through.

So, future- bring it on.